Rebuke Gently and Forgive Generously

Sitting at the dining room table one afternoon, I was homeschooling my nine and seven year old in their academic studies, when suddenly it occurred to me that the house was unusually quiet. With a five and three year old (who were boys) somewhere in the house, I knew that quiet equaled trouble! I began searching for Nick and Scott (my two young boys) and guess where I found them? They were happily stuffing toilet paper (by the roll fulls) in our downstairs toilet. After many disciplinary situations that day, this was the final straw for me. I sat down on the bathroom floor, and I cried! My two sweet boys hugged me and said “I sorry mommy, we won’t do it again.” How could I not forgive them (again)?

Jesus commands us to forgive others who sin against us. He said, “If your brother or sister (or child) sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them” (Luke 17:3-4). The apostles replied to the Lord’s command with “Increase our faith!”

Nothing takes greater faith than to forgive others who have hurt or sinned against you (repeatedly). The apostles had seen many miracles performed by Jesus by this point, but it wasn't in these they asked for increased faith, it was in needing to forgive others.

There is an important reason why Jesus wanted the apostles to forgive others who had sinned against them. This reason is critical to this passage, for if we miss this we won’t forgive for the right reason. In most cases if we miss this very important piece to this passage, we won’t forgive at all; instead we will remain in our selfishness that nurtures our own hurt instead of helping others be free from their potential doom.  

Just before Luke 17: 3-4 Jesus spoke to his disciples in verses 1-2 and said, “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves.”

Rebuking and forgiving anyone who has sinned against us is also a way of escorting them out of being a stumbling block to others. If we refuse to rebuke, these people never know they need to change. They continue to be obstacles to others’ faith. If we never forgive then we become the obstacle to them by never giving them a second chance to grow from their sin and find the courage to change. Rebuking and forgiving work hand in hand in helping a person be free from the potential damage they could cause not only to themselves but to others in their path.

When it comes to raising children, this is why discipline is so important. Without discipline, we keep our children immature and stunt their spiritual and positive influential growth. With discipline we raise spiritual giants that effect progressive change in their present and in their future.

Today’s lesson is simple: Rebuke gently and forgive generously.