Watching Over the Affairs of Our Household

A wife and mother watch over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:27-28

This is a slice of the Proverbs 31 Woman. This slice indicates her devotion and her commitment above all else. She has an agenda: to care for her home, her children and her husband. All else is secondary to this one mission for her life.

Many woman refuse or neglect to read Proverbs 31:10-31 for fear they will find conviction. Yes, we will find conviction, but we also find steps to improve and a path to follow. Some women feel defeated before they even get to the passage; therefore they give up before they even get started. Some think that the expectations of this passage is simply too high, yet, I would disagree. Nothing is impossible WITH GOD.

Let’s unpack this slice in the Proverb. First a wife and mother will take care of the affairs of her household and not eat the bread of idleness. Does this mean to have a perfect model presentation of our home? No. Does it mean to have a perfectly decorated (in season and out of season) residence? No. The affairs of the home involve so much more than presentation. For you can have a beautiful home and still neglect the affairs of the family. It’s funny, when you look at the whole of Proverbs 31, you don’t see anywhere that the woman is praised for a perfectly festive home. You see a spiritually strong woman with heart and love.

When we look at other passages in scripture we find what those so important affairs entail:

      1.  A wife respects, submits, and obeys her husband; likewise the husband loves and submits to her. (Ephesians 5:21-23). This affects the rest of the household.  It begins with the marriage relationship; when this relationship is strong, loving, and filled with understanding, it flows into the training and development of the children. The fruit of this is PEACE.

      2. A mother will teach her children. In Proverbs 6:20 a child is encouraged to not forsake his mother’s teaching. That teaching involves giving insight to the word of God, application to their existence, preparing each for their niche in life, and building godly character in each child’s person. From this, each unique child is enabled to find his or her way for which God has set out for them; they in turn are effective.  The fruit of this is PURPOSE.

     3.  A mother and wife will maintain a home of order. A home of order is not a perfect model but a clean and manageable place to live. Keeping order sets the tone of calm and security for our family. Food and cleanliness brings sustenance and harmony to each member. We serve a God of order not chaos; the fruit of taking care of the affairs of our home communicates this part of God’s character to our family and those in our influence. (1 Corinthians 14:4; Titus 2:5). The fruit of this is DIRECTION.

       4. A woman of influence is not idle nor does she feed on senseless ideas and chatter. A wife and mother will carve out the time each day to fill herself with God’s wisdom, His purposes, and His ways. She faces each difficulty with God’s hope not the world’s despair. She is one who reaches out vs. retreats in. She is a blessing outside the home and a profit to her family. She is all this, because she is first on her knees and serves out of humility. The fruit of this is IMPACT.

Secondly, we find in this passage a beautiful benefit to being this woman: her children praise her and her husband also. When this woman ages, and she watches her children grow up and out, she can look back and see the fruit of her efforts. If she has respected her husband, she has wonderful years to look forward to as the empty nest faces her.

But take heart, when a woman like this does look back she also sees her mistakes and the ways she could have improved. She sees the frailty of her human weaknesses.  She does have some regrets, but she can also reflect on those moments when she brought her failures to the Lord and asked Him to fill in the gap where she was inadequate to the call. She will remember that God conquers and wins when we choose to conquer our spiritual immaturity with prayer and persistence to NEVER GIVE UP.  

The Quality of Parents Who Win

If God is indeed infinite and His power beyond the measure of anything created, why do we give up so easily when everything in our life seems so bleak? Instead of despair, let’s change our apparel. Let’s choose to clothe ourselves with His love, His power, and His timeless eternity. Let’s replace our lost souls with the character of Jesus. Let's develop His vision, feelings, view of life, and decision making skills. Anything of ourselves is sure to fail, but developing His ways that come from His nature is sure to win. 

Our Kids Quest elementary children are learning to wear the character quality of Determination. They are learning that deciding it’s worth it to finish what you have started is a quality that Jesus wore and lived for us here on earth and still does through His Spirit inside us. 

As parents, it is important that we model this for them as well. One of the areas that I think many parents want to give up in is consistent discipline. Some children respond immediately to our teaching while others have their own ideas of how to live their life. It's this second group that most call strong willed children. Strong willed children have a gift of determination, the problem is they are determined to go their own way. They are determined to finish what they have started regardless of what we have asked. 

These children take more time, more energy and resolute faithfulness to steer their gift in the direction of going God's way. I will attest that it is hard to raise one of these blessings. I have one of these strong willed children. While grown, he was a bit of a challenge when younger. On some days it took all of my will and some to guide him in the right direction. However, I don't regret the consistent hand we had in his life. For now, we are experiencing the fruit of a young man of God who is resolute in following God with all his might, heart, and soul. His determination has become Christ's not his own. What kept my husband and I faithful to the cause? The same that kept Jesus faithful to His cause for us. 

I can imagine that when Christ carried the cross to the destination of his crucifixion that humanly He wanted to quit. Who wouldn't? Not only was he being berated by a crowd, humiliated by His own people and neglected by His followers, He was in some serious pain. Pain I cannot even comprehend! In all of this, He was determined to finish what He started: redeeming mankind. 

If you have seen movie, The Passion, you will remember the scene where Jesus was carrying the cross and his mother runs to him; wanting to help him she heard His words, "I have come to make all things new." After saying this He looks away from His mother and resolutely focuses onward to His destination. What was on His mind? What kept Him going? Love! Love for His people. His love hurled out any fear of what was to come and it hurled out any comfort he desired; for His destination was for our eternal comfort and that meant more to Him than what He needed at that moment. For perfect love casts out all fear. 

The only way to choose God's character instead of our own is to not live our life in the limits of flesh; we can only find triumph in the Spirit of God who lives inside us. We as parents need to also love our children more than the comfort or relief we desire today. For the fruit of righteousness developed in our children is at stake if we give up.

When your child was born, you most likely had the goals to raise him/her to be a blessing on society, to become all that God wanted him/her to be in this life and to help each to succeed at a personal relationship with Jesus. Well, it's going to take work to make that happen. I encourage you to finish what you started because in the end it will be worth all the labor and pains it took to get there. When fear creeps in or when exhaustion temps to call for personal comfort, resist it and embrace God's vision for your children and walk in His power so you can  finish the race and win!